Assalamu Alaikum Reader,

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There are moments I want to say, “He was really kind today.” Or, “I’m so grateful for what he did.”

But something in me pauses

Maybe because he’s still not meeting me emotionally in private.
Maybe because I fear evil eye, jealousy, or someone whispering, “She’s lucky.”
​Maybe because my parents haven’t fully accepted him, and I feel disloyal for defending him.

So I stay quiet.

But here’s what I’m learning: It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

I can say Alhamdulillah and still pray for better.
I can see the flaws and honour the efforts.
I can love cautiously and love clearly.

There is barakah in appreciating without exaggerating.
And there is healing in being truthful without pretending.

And when I hold back too much, I rob myself of joy. I miss out on moments where gratitude could soften my heart and strengthen our bond.

So now, I practice small acknowledgments:
✨ A quiet “thank you” just for him.
✨ A whispered du’a for what I appreciate.
✨ A gentle reminder to myself that gratitude doesn’t cancel out my needs.

Because marriage isn’t about painting a perfect picture—it’s about finding the balance between hope and honesty, dua and effort, patience and appreciation.

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💬 If this speaks to your heart, I’d love to hold space for you.

Sometimes just talking it out with someone who understands can bring a huge sense of relief and clarity. If you’ve been carrying these feelings quietly, you don’t have to do it alone.

It’s a safe, judgment-free space to share what you’re carrying and to see how I can support you, inshaAllah.
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​Click here to book your call → Schedule a time to talk

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With duas for your peace,

Insiya Abdur Raheem

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​Insiyaar.com​

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