Assalamualaikum Reader,

I want to begin this week’s letter by sharing a reflection from both of our sessions—because together, they captured something deeply important about where many of us are right now.

Here’s what’s happening this week:

Peaceful Wives Group:
​ This week, we spent time unpacking anger, not as a problem in itself, but as a neutral emotion.

So much of the narrative around anger focuses on:

• when the husband is angry
• when the wife is angry
• how a “good” Muslim should behave

But what we explored was deeper than behaviour.

We looked at:

• how anger actually shows up in the body
• how our beliefs about “angry people” shape shame and suppression
• how we ourselves respond when anger rises

Anger is not the issue.
The issue is how we think about anger, and how we show up when we feel it.

Learning to regulate anger is not just a marriage skill.
It’s a life skill.

And the way the women resonated with this reminded me how much relief there is when we stop demonizing emotions and start understanding them.

Abundant Muslimah Community:
​ In the Abundant Muslimah Community, we held our mid year review session on the very last day of Jumada al-Thani, and it felt deeply fitting.

We reflected on:

• where we were at the start of the month
• how our thinking has shifted
• where we want to go in the next six months

Because the best way to keep moving forward is to keep checking in with ourselves.

We also concluded the Second month of the Level Up: Preparation for Ramadan program.
The first month focused on dhikr, and the second on physical health, observing, monitoring, and becoming aware of our bodies.

And that brings me to something I think we often overlook.

Health, Aging & How We Want to Meet Our Rabb

As women, we rarely pause to ask:
​How do I want to age?

Health does not automatically improve with time.
In many ways, it declines unless we become intentional.

How do we want to meet our Rabb, no matter what age we are?

In my own reflections, I’ve been spending time learning about:

• lifestyle changes
• nutrition
• Ayurveda
• naturopathy
• modern science

And one thing is consistent across all of it:
we are consuming more than we need.

I’m reminded of the Sunnah:
that the stomach is the worst vessel to fill,
and that it should be divided into thirds,
food, water, and empty space.

I want to gently ask you:
Is this something we are practicing regularly?

Because caring for our health is not about restriction.
It’s about preparation, for longevity, for strength, and for showing up better in our ibadah and relationships.

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This Week’s Reflection: Marriage, Bitterness & the Energy We Bring

As I was reflecting on marriage this week, one heavy pattern kept coming up.

Many women feel:

• “My husband doesn’t complete me.”
• “He doesn’t stand up the way I need him to.”
• “He’s not good enough… but I don’t want to leave.”

And slowly, staying bitter becomes an accepted form of staying married.

But that is not the Sunnah of marriage.
That is not the example we want our children to internalize.
And that is not the reason we stay married.

Marriage does not require constant happiness.
But it does require accountability, hope, and intention.

When your energy feels dampened just by thinking about your husband,
his reactions, his moods, his presence,
it becomes hard to focus on how you are showing up.

If energy truly rubs off on one another, then we must ask:
What energy am I bringing into this relationship?

Are we staying clear?
Are we staying authentic and wise?
Are we allowing gaslighting, real or perceived, to erode our self-worth?
Are we overcomplicating, or are we grounding ourselves in the awareness that Allah is watching over us?

A Reflection for the Coming Season

As the year ends and families spend more time together, I want to leave you with this reflection:

When you think about time with your husband:

• do you focus mainly on what’s not working?
• do you notice what is working?
• or does your heart deeply want to focus on the better, but feels stuck?

If you find this hard, if bitterness feels heavier than hope, I want you to know that this is not a dead end.

It is an invitation.

An invitation to unpack, to gain clarity, and to begin showing up with strength rather than survival.

If you feel called to explore this together, I invite you to get on a call with me so we can begin this journey intentionally.

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Duas,
Insiya

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