Assalamualaikum Reader,

This week, both communities explored two deeply connected themes: who you believe you are and how you let others support you.

Here’s what’s happening this week:

Peaceful Wives Group:
​ We unpacked the identity of a Muslim woman and how creating an identity compass anchors you when emotions rise, when communication breaks down, and when you begin slipping into resentment.
An identity compass becomes the lens you return to when you want to show up with ihsan—not perfection, but ihsan—especially in marriage.
It answers:
• Who am I seeking to be?
• What does Allah expect of me?
• What qualities am I cultivating in this home?

Without this compass, emotional reactions overtake spiritual clarity.

Abundant Muslimah Community:
​ We went into why delegation feels difficult for so many women:
• Fear that others won’t do it “right”
• Struggles with trusting someone else’s process
• Perfectionism disguised as “standards”
• Feeling unsafe letting go of control
• Past disappointments
• The belief that “it’s just easier if I do it myself”

We also unpacked the missing steps that make delegation actually work:
• Clear communication
• Allowing others to try, fail, and learn
• Motivating rather than micromanaging
• Giving responsibility without hovering
• Letting competence grow over time
• Feeling worthy of being supported

Without these steps, you unintentionally keep yourself in a hustle loop where everything depends on you—and resentment grows silently.

A Note on Health, Motherhood, and Making Wellness Possible:​
Recovering postpartum, breastfeeding, managing fatigue—finding time for health feels like another item on the to-do list. Seeing a doctor, doing something elaborate, scheduling appointments…it all feels heavy.

So I am learning to honor the small steps.

• Drinking warm water with a pinch of cumin
• Washing my face and applying a simple cream
• Resting intentionally for a few minutes
• Listening to my body before pushing through

These little acts make wellness reachable.
They remind you that tending to yourself does not require a full makeover—it starts with small, consistent acts of rahmah toward your body.

And in this journey, I’ve started using Oliveda olive tree products because of the barakah connected to the olive tree, mentioned in the Qur’an as a cure and as a fruit of Jannah.
​ Their present sale is ending tomorrow so if you’ve been wanting to try something rooted in Sunnah and ease, this may be the right time.

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This Week’s Reflection: The Narrative That Shapes Your Marriage

When you’re in a long-term relationship and emotional intimacy is low, the mind begins to filter information through pain.
You start noticing only what confirms the fear:

“Does he love me or not?”
“See—he didn’t do this… he must not care.”
“He is emotionally unavailable.”
“He never tries.”

This is the same phenomenon as when you’re about to buy a specific car—you suddenly see it everywhere.
Your mind hunts for what it is primed to see.

So when your heart is in a constant test—Does he love me?—everything becomes evidence for or against that question.
Over time, this becomes not a marriage issue, but a mindset trap.

Because when your mind is tired, overstretched, or overwhelmed, you cannot see khair clearly—even when it is present.

This negative filter:
• drains your emotional energy
• intensifies your triggers
• fuels self-blame and disappointment
• strengthens resentment
• weakens softness and presence
• closes the heart to connection
• blocks rahmah

And you begin living in a world where the negative version of your husband becomes the dominant story—even if it was not always your reality.

But here’s the most important shift:

Instead of testing: “Does he love me?”​
Ask:
​“Am I loving myself right now? Am I offering myself ease, gentleness, and safety?”

Because love is often experienced not as fireworks, but as ease.
When you choose ease for yourself, you begin to notice ease around you.
When you choose gentleness for yourself, you begin to soften toward others.
When you restore balance inside, you begin to see the marriage differently.

This is the real work:
changing the internal narrative so you can finally see the reality—not the fear.​
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If This Email Described You, Read This Slowly:
​If you can see khyr( goodness) in your husband when you look at him interacting with others…
If you’ve seen moments of goodness but your mind feels blocked from accessing it now…
If everything feels louder, heavier, and harder to tolerate…
If you find yourself spiraling into the “he doesn’t love me” loop…

Then this is not about him.
This is about the weight in your heart, the exhaustion in your body, the depletion in your spirit, and the confusion in your narrative.

You are not broken.
You are overwhelmed, unsupported, and emotionally depleted.

You do not have to stay here.

I invite you to work with me—gently, privately, and deeply. Together we will:
• restore your emotional clarity
• rebuild self-trust
• shift the inner narrative
• re-open your ability to see khyr
• soften resentment
• reconnect you with yourself and Allah
• help you show up in your marriage without losing yourself

If you’re ready for the next step, reply with “I’m ready” and I’ll help you choose the right path forward.

Duas,

Insiya

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